She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
