My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
