I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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