Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
