Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
