Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Randomize
