woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
