You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
