Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize