Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
