Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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