Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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