How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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