if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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