lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
