Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
