This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
