I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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