Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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