No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
