Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
