Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
