I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
