no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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