finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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