As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize