wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
