We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
