Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize