whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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