I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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