You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
