Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
