They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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