remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
