you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize