I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize