My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
