I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize