Nicole vs. Life
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
