so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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