Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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