taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
