so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize