See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Randomize
