herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
