I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
