i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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