I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
