Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
