You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize