I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
