Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My hand turned me down
I just gift wrapped bread.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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