I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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