Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
