girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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