I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
