Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
