you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
