it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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