I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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