? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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