It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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