But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
