I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
