i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
