I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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