I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
