And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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