He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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