Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
